Autoaggression of the Body – How to Learn Acceptance and Self-Compassion?

Introduction

Autoimmune diseases are a group of conditions in which the body’s immune system attacks its own tissues, treating them as foreign entities. Disorders such as rheumatoid arthritis, psoriasis, Hashimoto’s disease, or systemic lupus erythematosus affect millions of people worldwide, including many Poles. These illnesses not only impact the physical aspect of life but also have a profound effect on patients’ mental well-being.

A diagnosis of an autoimmune disease can trigger a wave of difficult emotions – from shock and denial, through anger, to sadness and a sense of helplessness. Many individuals also experience guilt, believing they somehow contributed to the onset of the disease or that their body has failed them. These negative emotions often lead to a decline in mental health, creating a vicious cycle in which stress and a negative mindset can exacerbate disease symptoms.

In this article, we will focus on how individuals with autoimmune diseases can learn to accept their health condition and cultivate an attitude of self-compassion, which is crucial for maintaining psychological well-being and improving quality of life despite illness.

The Connection Between Autoimmunity and Mental Health

The Impact of Diagnosis on Mental State

Receiving a diagnosis of an autoimmune disease is often a turning point in life. Research shows that patients with such conditions have an increased risk of developing anxiety and depressive disorders. According to data, as many as 30-40% of people with autoimmune diseases experience symptoms of depression, a rate significantly higher than in the general population.

The unpredictability of the disease’s course, fluctuating symptoms, and the need to constantly adapt to new limitations can lead to chronic stress and a sense of losing control over one’s life. Additionally, visible symptoms of some diseases, such as skin changes in psoriasis, can affect self-esteem and lead to social isolation.

The Vicious Cycle Mechanism: Stress and Symptom Exacerbation

It’s worth noting that the relationship between mental state and autoimmune diseases is bidirectional. Chronic stress can worsen symptoms by affecting the immune system. Cortisol, the stress hormone, can disrupt immune system balance and intensify inflammation in the body.

Scientific studies confirm that individuals experiencing high levels of stress are more likely to suffer from disease flare-ups. This creates a vicious cycle: the disease generates stress, and stress intensifies the symptoms. Breaking this cycle is possible through work on mental health and developing skills to cope with difficult emotions.

The Path to Accepting an Autoimmune Disease

Stages of Accepting a Chronic Illness

The process of accepting a chronic illness, including an autoimmune one, can be likened to the stages of grief described by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross. These include:

• Denial – rejecting the diagnosis, seeking alternative medical opinions

• Anger – frustration at the unfairness of fate, asking “why me?”

• Bargaining – promises to change one’s lifestyle in exchange for recovery

• Depression – sadness and regret over the loss of health and former life

• Acceptance – coming to terms with the diagnosis and focusing on quality of life despite limitations

It’s important to understand that these stages don’t always occur linearly, and the acceptance process can take months or years. Some individuals may revisit certain stages multiple times, especially during disease flare-ups.

A Realistic Approach to Limitations and Possibilities

A key element of acceptance is developing a realistic approach to one’s limitations and possibilities. This means finding a balance between ignoring the illness and completely surrendering to it. The goal is to learn to live with the disease without letting it define one’s entire identity.

In practice, this might involve modifying life plans and daily activities without abandoning dreams and goals. People with autoimmune diseases may need more rest, regular medication, or a special diet, but they can still lead fulfilling personal and professional lives.

Self-Compassion as the Foundation of Mental Health

What Is Self-Compassion and Why Is It Important?

Self-compassion is the ability to treat oneself with the same kindness and understanding one would offer a loved one in a difficult situation. According to Dr. Kristin Neff, a researcher specializing in self-compassion, it consists of three main components:

• Self-kindness – instead of harsh self-criticism

• Common humanity – understanding that suffering is part of the human experience

• Mindfulness – consciously noticing difficult emotions without over-identifying with them

Studies show that individuals with higher levels of self-compassion cope better with chronic illnesses, experience fewer symptoms of depression and anxiety, and demonstrate greater motivation to care for their health.

Self-Compassion vs. Self-Criticism

Many people with autoimmune diseases experience intense self-criticism. Thoughts like “If I had taken better care of myself, I wouldn’t have gotten sick” or “I’m a burden to my family” can dominate their consciousness. However, research indicates that self-criticism increases stress levels and can worsen health outcomes.

Practicing self-compassion allows individuals to replace self-criticism with a more supportive inner dialogue. Instead of blaming themselves for limitations caused by the disease, they learn to accept their situation and treat themselves with understanding.

Practical Techniques for Developing Acceptance and Self-Compassion

Mindfulness in Daily Life

Mindfulness involves consciously directing attention to the present moment without judging experiences as good or bad. Regular mindfulness practice can help people with autoimmune diseases better recognize signals from their body, reduce stress, and increase acceptance of difficult emotions and physical sensations.

Simple exercises to incorporate into daily routines:

• 5-minute meditation focused on breathing

• Mindful eating, fully aware of tastes and textures

• Regular breaks to consciously notice bodily sensations without trying to change them

Self-Help Techniques in Difficult Moments

During times of intensified symptoms or challenging emotions, the following techniques can be helpful:

• “Hand on Heart” exercise – Place a hand on your heart and say to yourself in a gentle tone: “This is a difficult moment. Suffering is part of life. How can I be kind to myself right now?”

• Writing a letter to yourself – Write a letter from the perspective of a compassionate friend, offering support and understanding for the difficulties you’re facing.

• RAIN Technique (Recognize, Allow, Investigate, Nurture) – Recognize a difficult emotion, allow it to be, explore it with curiosity, and nurture yourself in response to it.

The Role of Social Support and Therapy

While cultivating self-compassion is an individual process, support from others can be invaluable. Support groups for people with specific autoimmune diseases provide a space to share experiences and coping strategies.

Professional psychological help, particularly in the form of cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) or acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT), can aid in developing acceptance and self-compassion skills. Increasingly, psychologists in Poland specialize in working with individuals with chronic illnesses.

Emotional Health and Quality of Life with an Autoimmune Disease

Setting Boundaries and Priorities

People with autoimmune diseases often need to learn to set boundaries and prioritize to manage their energy. The ability to say “no” without guilt and consciously choose activities that truly matter can significantly improve quality of life.

Creating and regularly reviewing a list of priorities, as well as openly communicating needs and limitations to loved ones, can be helpful.

Finding New Meaning and Purpose

An autoimmune disease often prompts a reevaluation of life and can serve as a catalyst for profound personal transformation. Many people discover new passions, interests, or values that were previously unimportant to them.

Some patients engage in educational activities about their condition, others find joy in activities adapted to their abilities, and still others deepen interpersonal relationships, which take on new significance in the context of illness.

Summary

Living with an autoimmune disease poses challenges to both the body and the mind. The journey to acceptance and self-compassion is a process that requires time and practice but yields tangible benefits for emotional health and overall quality of life.

Cultivating an attitude of kindness toward oneself, adopting a realistic approach to limitations and possibilities, and utilizing available forms of support enable better coping with the challenges of chronic illness. Let us remember that caring for mental health is just as important as treating the physical symptoms of the disease.

Individuals struggling with autoimmune diseases can lead full and satisfying lives by learning to accept their situation and practicing self-compassion. It’s not about denying difficulties but about finding a way to live with meaning and joy despite limitations.